I am a pretty much a glass half full type of girl. I like to be positive, up beat, enthusiastic, to the point of being annoying some may suggest. I don't like to sound like I am moaning, I know there are plenty people who are worse off than me. So it is hard for me to admit when the going get tough but the point of this blog is to raise awareness of EDS hypermobility so I guess I need to be honest too. To admit defeat even. Don't panic I'm not giving up.
I had a great weekend down at Mum's, although I didn't do any proper training, thanks to the mini personal trainer it was non-stop and I was pleased to still be able to show 'em how it is done on a trampoline! we went to Whinlatter (which I would highly recommend) and walked, ran, jumped and played all day. We had a great time and I kept food in check!
Bank holiday Monday I got up, went out and ran (well with some walking thrown in) 5k, I felt great. it was a really good trail run, along the river with some pretty steep hills thrown in too. I love trails! Toe dislocated for the first 1k or so and my rib popped a bit but in the grand scheme of things I felt great. Went out for lunch made good food choices, I felt positive, strong and ready to take on the Spartan challenge.
Tuesday started OK, I had already decided I would have an easy day exercise wise. Food wise I did fine, but as the day went on I got tired, really tired. Now I am mostly tired, I blame the 5 year old sleep terrorist. But this was like that heavy cloud that comes down and makes you feel a bit like you are walking through syrup, mmmm syrup. Anyway that fog that makes it hard to concentrate, to think and certainly to do anything energetic!
By Tuesday night I was shattered and I hurt - everywhere. Now there are many parts of EDS that I dislike but I think for me this is the worst. Dislocations are horrible but you can say OK I dislocated by *insert body part here* and people understand. But it is hard to explain the severity of the hurt when you just hurt everywhere. I think the only thing I can compare it to is flu, possibly even man flu! Everything aches and stiffens up. Sitting still is agony. Moving is too much of an effort. My hips gave way as I stood up. I was in a proper grump with myself. My hands turned into claws, and while it was funny when it happened in Friends......
Wednesday I resorted to painkillers and toast a sure sign that I am sore! Food was carbilicious rather than nutritious. The pain (and then the painkillers) makes me feel sick. Thank goodness for computers because when I tried to write a hand written note I was very nearly reduced to tears. However, if you had passed me on the street you would not have known anything was wrong - I looked fine. Not particularly glamorous but fine. And I think that makes it so hard to admit how tough it can be because you look OK, but all you want to do is curl up in a ball and have a good cry. Of course, life goes on. I work, I have a family, I can't just curl up in a darkened room until it passes. So there I've said it out loud, it hurt, it was hard, I hate it, it makes me want to cry. Maybe I need to say it more and stop trying to fight it but I probably wont.
Happily it hasn't lasted long and today (Thursday) I feel loads better. Tomorrow I will run. And I'll smile because as tough as it gets on my good days I can conquer the world, as long as I can walk some of the way!