Back to it

Hello there, yes it has been a while. Sorry. I have not blogged since I did the Spartan. I wasn't sure if I should blog at all, I'm not the best at remembering to do it at the best times of time, but I think I need it.

So the Spartan was amazing and I was full of confidence and bravado for the future. Of being a fit and healthy individual. Then you know things got in the way, I didn't stop running but I certainly haven't been doing as much of it as I should. I've been going to bootcamp when I can and in my head I am still trying to be fit and healthy. I have even signed up to many an event.....

But the scales and my clothes tell the real story, the story of not exercising as much as I could be, of not eating well. Or perhaps of eating too well but definitely eating too much of the wrong stuff.

More importantly my body is telling me the real story. My pain levels have creeped up, more things are popping out.

Carrying around extra weight does not help my hypermobility at all. I know this. So why is it so hard to stay focused, what's that? Cake? Oh ok then thanks very much.

A few weeks ago my knee popped out to the side - it's never done that before! And it has been painful ever since, I know its not right because I am putting strain on my other joints when I am walking. I tried to run the other night and there was just no way, it slid out every time I put my foot down.

I'll be honest this scared me. Not only because I have signed up to the Gelt Gladiator ( a 10k obstacle race this time!) and I really need to be running and training. But what if this is the start of the end? What if I am going to really struggle to be properly fit ever again? Now yes I may well be prone to being slightly melodramatic, I need to give myself a shake!

I am being sensible there is no running for me at the moment but I need to take a stand. I need to shift some of these pounds. And I need to strengthen these joints.

So I am back to blogging, mostly to keep me accountable. I can't just come on here and say yep still being rubbish now can I? I am hoping it will pull me out of the hole I seem to be in both mentally and physically.

I have loved Deliciously Ella for a little time now and have finally ordered her cookbook, I will reduce my sugar intake and up my fruit and veg considerably. I will exercise daily (sensibly within my pain limits) and I will do this!

I am Spartan!

Yep we did it! Yesterday we ran the Spartan sprint and yes it was we, it was most definitely a team effort and thanks go to the rest of the team for making it such a great experience.

Yep it was tough, there was mud, there was fire, there was lots of half naked men, which may have helped us girls round the course....

There were some truly remarkable people there and I feel very proud to have been part of it.

That me in the middle!

 

 

Ok so we conquered wall climbs, not easy when you are wee, thanks go to the boys for a leg up! We walked for, what seemed like, miles through a freezing river and deep is all relative to how tall you are. We climbed over stuff, we crawled under stuff, including barbed wire, up and down a hill! We tried (and I failed) to do the monkey bars and the rope climb, we tried to throw an arrow into a bale, so close but it didn't stick. We jumped over fire, we pulled tires, we hoisted the Hurcules Hoist and we did a whole heap of other stuff that I can't remember. But most of all we had an amazing time! And we did it, we finished it and we finished it with a smile!

 

 

 

For me I made it through with only dislocated toes and a heap of bruises so I am delighted! I think I am still functioning on adrenalin so waiting for the catch up exhaustion but it was all worth it. I met a fellow Bendy in the car park whose friend had been taking part and she was so happy to see someone doing it for EDS, really made my day! Yes I wish I'd trained harder and prepared more but am delighted with how well we made it through.

 

So that is it the challenge is done.......

 

 

What's next?

 

There is still time to sponsor me if you would like, please visit https://www.justgiving.com/bendyspartan/

 



51 days......

51 days until the Spartan Sprint! 51 days! I feel a bit sick.

It has been a while since I have last blogged, now I would love to tell you that it is because I have been so busy training I have not had time to put finger to keyboard, but, well, erm, not so much.

Chloe broke her arm and had to have an operation which combined with being busy at work, planning a party for my mother in law just left me with not much extra time. It is hard work trying to entertain a child who is used to being on the go ALL of the time when she couldn't.

Anyway, she was fixed by the end of June, then we went to Disneyland Paris (which was amazing!)and now all of a sudden it is the 1st of August and I have 51 days until D-day!

Now time is always a bit of a struggle, as a full time working mum it's always tempting to use any spare minutes just having a bit of a sit down.

I have been training, I have been out running in the mid-day heat (living in Scotland I'm not used to this big orange thing in the sky) but after a morning at the park with Chloe where we both discovered we are still rubbish at monkey bars I don't feel I am doing enough!

So here it is, no excuses, 51 days to get ready, 51 days to dig deep, build strength, build speed, build stamina.

My plan is to keep myself accountable by blogging DAILY what I have done. If I don't post please shout at me :-)

Holding back

OK so last week was a rough week as you know. But, as always, it passed. Today I went for a run with the goal of beating my personal best. Now to be honest even calling it a personal best makes me chuckle a little because that sounds suspiciously what runners and crazy fit people aim for.

Anyway I did exactly the same run as I did last Monday with the objective of doing it a bit quicker. Before I share my times I would like to reiterate that I am not a runner, the route (5k) is a tough one, full of mud, tree roots, holes made by horse hoofs (perfect for a foot to drop into!), a bloody big hill and quite a few smaller ones. Monday last week I did it in 52.31 today I did it in 49.16. Yes still pitifully slow, pretty sure it wouldn't have taken much longer to walk it,  but still quicker than last week.

However, I could have done it quicker. Did I give it 100%? No I didn't, in fact if I was totally honest I would say I gave it about 80%. There is a big part of me that holds me back when I am running. And it is not my bahooki. It is fear. Yep there I have said it I hold back because I am scared I am going to hurt myself. Now this is ridiculous, I've entered a Spartan for goodness sake, that's just asking to be injured. Thing is I don't mind getting injured in the race, in fact I'm expecting it.

It is also ridiculous because ask me to do cartwheels, summersault on a trampoline, run down a beach with Chloe on my back, play 'dancing on ice' and throw same child around I'll  do it. I'll give 100% effort. I'll not worry about getting injured.

But running, I have the fear. Now I think it is because when I was first diagnosed with hypermobility I was told do not run. Running is not a good idea, you will injure yourself. I think I may have mentioned at the time this was fine with me. But I think it has stuck with me, in the back of my mind I don't want to push myself because it is going to hurt me. I need to get over this.

Now I am a naturally competitive person. Today I set myself the goal to be quicker and I will try using that every time, but will it be enough? I am tempted to join a parkrun but there is also a part of me that doesn't want to be that person hobbling in dead last.

Guess I need to Spartan up!!

Trails and toast

I am a pretty much a glass half full type of girl. I like to be positive, up beat, enthusiastic, to the point of being annoying some may suggest. I don't like to sound like I am moaning, I know there are plenty people who are worse off than me. So it is hard for me to admit when the going get tough but the point of this blog is to raise awareness of EDS hypermobility so I guess I need to be honest too. To admit defeat even. Don't panic I'm not giving up. 

I had a great weekend down at Mum's, although I didn't do any proper training, thanks to the mini personal trainer it was non-stop and I was pleased to still be able to show 'em how it is done on a trampoline! we went to Whinlatter (which I would highly recommend) and walked, ran, jumped and played all day. We had a great time and I kept food in check!

Bank holiday Monday I got up, went out and ran (well with some walking thrown in) 5k, I felt great. it was a really good trail run, along the river with some pretty steep hills thrown in too. I love trails! Toe dislocated for the first 1k or so and my rib popped a bit but in the grand scheme of things I felt great. Went out for lunch made good food choices, I felt positive, strong and ready to take on the Spartan challenge.

Tuesday started OK, I had already decided I would have an easy day exercise wise. Food wise I did fine, but as the day went on I got tired, really tired. Now I am mostly tired, I blame the 5 year old sleep terrorist. But this was like that heavy cloud that comes down and makes you feel a bit like you are walking through syrup, mmmm syrup. Anyway that fog that makes it hard to concentrate, to think and certainly to do anything energetic!

By Tuesday night I was shattered and I hurt - everywhere. Now there are many parts of EDS that I dislike but I think for me this is the worst. Dislocations are horrible but you can say OK I dislocated by *insert body part here* and people understand. But it is hard to explain the severity of the hurt when you just hurt everywhere. I think the only thing I can compare it to is flu, possibly even man flu! Everything aches and stiffens up. Sitting still is agony. Moving is too much of an effort. My hips gave way as I stood up. I was in a proper grump with myself. My hands turned into claws, and while it was funny when it happened in Friends......

Wednesday I resorted to painkillers and toast a sure sign that I am sore! Food was carbilicious rather than nutritious. The pain (and then the painkillers) makes me feel sick. Thank goodness for computers because when I tried to write a hand written note I was very nearly reduced to tears. However, if you had passed me on the street you would not have known anything was wrong - I looked fine. Not particularly glamorous but fine. And I think that makes it so hard to admit how tough it can be because you look OK, but all you want to do is curl up in a ball and have a good cry. Of course, life goes on. I work, I have a family, I can't just curl up in a darkened room until it passes. So there I've said it out loud, it hurt, it was hard, I hate it, it makes me want to cry. Maybe I need to say it more and stop trying to fight it but I probably wont.

Happily it hasn't lasted long and today (Thursday) I feel loads better. Tomorrow I will run. And I'll smile because as tough as it gets on my good days I can conquer the world, as long as I can walk some of the way!

Mojo lost......and found!

It has been a little while, I've not blogged because well I've not had much to blog about if I am honest. I had a good two, maybe three weeks of not much training at all. I was ill, it was the school holidays, work was busy, I had stuff to do, like you know going shopping, watching TV all the really important stuff that we do when we are not doing what we should be doing!

With the realisation that I have less than five months to the Spartan and I am still nowhere near ready, I thought I'd best get back to it. Me and the mister had a night out in Glasgow on Saturday and I got up to go to the hotel gym at 8am on Sunday morning - I know check me out! I spend a lot of the day thinking how easy training would be if I could just get up and go downstairs to the gym, then it dawned on me. I can. Well OK not to a nice air-conditioned fancy pants gym. But in my garden I have a bike, I have a skipping rope, I have a trampoline, I have roller skates, I have hula hoops, inside there are more workout DVDs than I can to mention and at the front door (which leads to a whole heap of running options) there are my trainers. I can go downstairs and go straight to the gym, its just a different kind of gym. Unfortunately I doubt I will return to a delicious breakfast buffet but a girl can't get everything.

So Monday I went for a run, Tuesday I did a DIY circuit mash up in the garden then I went for a run. This was a tough run. First off it was hot - don't worry the situation was quickly rectified and we are back to cold and rain. More of a pain was my lower back and right hip being really unstable for the majority of the run. Meaning my muscles, especially my core had to work a whole lot harder to keep everything in place, it was hard going, I am not going to lie I struggled, I really struggled. As I neared home my left hip, obviously not happy with the amount of attention the right one was getting, decided to protest by popping out, thankfully after a little attention and reassurance it was just as important it popped back in - but I was sore for the rest of the day.

Not one to be deterred Wednesday I went for a run, five minutes in and my toe dislocated and would go back in through wiggling alone. As I sat on the pavement putting it back in, I question what I was doing, is it really worth it? Maybe I should just not bother. But I gave myself a good Man The F**k Up talking too, remembered all the people who are a lot worse off than me, all the people who inspire me (this lovely lady for a start http://blog.spartanrace.com/overcoming-obstacles-amanda-sullivan/) and I popped my toe back in, put my trainers back on and did it. I was faster, I pushed myself further, I felt good, I think I can do this! Don't get me wrong, I hurt, I was falling asleep by 8pm, I am still slow but I can and will do it.

May is EDS awareness month - I hope this blog is telling a few more people about EDS and giving a small insight to what it is like (remember I am pretty lucky with my symptoms) take a look for some more info https://www.ehlers-danlos.org/get-involved/may-awareness-month-2014

Sitting down, standing still, moving forward!

So sometimes it hurts to move but more often it hurts more not to move! Last week I had a two days of sitting in one position for long periods of time (work conference) then a day of standing still (PTA fundraiser) and oh my did it take its toll. I am a fidget, I can't help it, it is all part and parcel of HEDS. Sitting still kills me! I am aware that for other people this is extreemly annoying and do try to minimise it, especially in conference type situations. However, by the end of the three days I was in agony. It hurt to move, it hurt to sit still. So rather than run as normal while Chloe was at swimming I went for the rest option and planned to keep it that way. So thank goodness for my mini personal trainer. We made it until about 14.00 untill she could be contained no longer (she had already been swimming that morning) so a bike ride it was. Except my finders were not working and my bike needed a new saddle. Not one to be easily deterred, little miss declared I could run, and she promised not to go too fast! So an hour later, she kept true to her word and I walked most of it, with the occassional run thrown in I felt......so much better. If it hadn't been for her then I would have lazed around and probably still felt rubbish on the Sunday. So moving is the way forward.

I did however get up at 6.30am, when I was staying in a hotel without the sleep terrorist, to go for a run! I feel like I am dedicated :-)

Got really quite excited as my EDS running vest arrived - you will definately be able to spot me in a crowd! Just need to get it back from the little lady now.

 

But for now I'll just keep on moving forward!

Frustrations and fears

Last week I was away with work and missed running. Not just didn't manage to run but actually missed doing it! I may have become one of those people who gets tetchy when they don't exercise......

Mostly I am plodding along and pleased with how things are going but on Sunday my shoulder kept popping out. It blooming hurt and it made me feel sick, the rubbish feeling is nearly done over 48 hours later. I am not sure if it is because I had not done much the week before, because I did a bit of strength stuff the day before or just because. I suspect it is just because.

Now I know that this is going to happen, it is part and parcel of HEDS. It doesn't make it any less frustrating. The pain is, well, a pain as is the general feeling rubbish which goes with it but just now a couple of days being completely out of action is making it worse. I am really enjoying training and not being able to do it is getting me down a bit. I'll be back running tomorrow though :-)

Luckily I had Chloe to keep me on the straight and narrow food wise so didn't just survive on toast!

It has also reminded me of the fear of something dislocating or just having a general flare up on the day of the race or just before. Logically I know there is no point in worrying, if it happens I'll just need to deal with it. I hope that training will make me stronger and flare ups happen less, but this may be wishful thinking......

Making progress

So I am quite enjoying this running lark, don't get me wrong it is still being mixed with a good chunk of walking. On Friday I covered 5k in 50 minutes, now this is not fast but it is a start. My toes went early on so I was pretty proud of myself for pushing through. Yesterday I did 5k in 47.33 really happy to see the time come down. If I can do it in 30 mins by Sept I'll be happy.

I am now running/walking 3 times a week, doing a different workout 3 times a week and having one rest day. And do you know what? I am really enjoying it. Today is an enforced rest day (one of my vertebrae has gone out slightly) and I'm a bit frustrated at not doing anything!

I'm enjoying it so much I've signed up for another run in June a bit more of a fun thing but still with mud and obstacles involved, for our local hospice.

Not listening seems to be working, although it is hard to ignore dislocated toes which at the moment my biggest problem. But food wise it is making a big difference to have everything planned out and just eating what is on the list. Not just to stop eating to much and unnecessarily but to eat well. Today the pain in my back is making my feel sick. All I want is toast but I went ahead and eat my planned lunch as it is what my body needs. I'd still kill for a slice of hot buttered toast though :-)

Back and toes aside I am feeling so much better, already I am experiencing less of the achy kind of pain that is always in the background.

Next week will be tough I am away with work quite a lot but will be packing my trainers and will do what I can!

Run for it!

I don't like running, I've never liked running. I fully accepted it when I was told not to run because of HEDS, and on the odd occasion I've tried running, I've not really enjoyed it, it hurt and well it's just a bit boring.

However, the whole Spartan thing requires me to run. This is the bit that worries me the most. Climbing ropes, scaling walls, crawling under barbed wire and running through fire have not stressed me out as much as the running part of it.

Turns out I love running! If it's along muddy paths, jumping over stuff, sliding down hills and risking losing your trainers. Today I ran just over 4k in under 35 minutes. I probably could have run a little bit more and walked a little bit less but I pushed myself to run for longer times and I ran up all the hills so I am happy.

My trainers are not fairing so well!

I think that running on the sodden ground, it is really muddy, takes away a lot of the impact and that's why I'm finding it more enjoyable. I also know I'm concentrating on my stability and core to ensure I don't fall so I'm not hyper extending. Good job it's not going to dry up any time soon!

My aim is to build up to 5k in 40 mins then try and get the time down to 30 mins. I never thought I'd be confident in saying that.

I'm also feeling the benefit of just eating what I have planned, I'm making healthier choices, not over eating and not feeling bloated and sluggish. I'm not weighing or measuring until the end of March so I don't get disheartened if there isn't much progress. Although to be honest, I feel so much better I don't really care if I've not lost much. For me this is all about being healthy.

It's been a good week!