I am Spartan!

Yep we did it! Yesterday we ran the Spartan sprint and yes it was we, it was most definitely a team effort and thanks go to the rest of the team for making it such a great experience.

Yep it was tough, there was mud, there was fire, there was lots of half naked men, which may have helped us girls round the course....

There were some truly remarkable people there and I feel very proud to have been part of it.

That me in the middle!

 

 

Ok so we conquered wall climbs, not easy when you are wee, thanks go to the boys for a leg up! We walked for, what seemed like, miles through a freezing river and deep is all relative to how tall you are. We climbed over stuff, we crawled under stuff, including barbed wire, up and down a hill! We tried (and I failed) to do the monkey bars and the rope climb, we tried to throw an arrow into a bale, so close but it didn't stick. We jumped over fire, we pulled tires, we hoisted the Hurcules Hoist and we did a whole heap of other stuff that I can't remember. But most of all we had an amazing time! And we did it, we finished it and we finished it with a smile!

 

 

 

For me I made it through with only dislocated toes and a heap of bruises so I am delighted! I think I am still functioning on adrenalin so waiting for the catch up exhaustion but it was all worth it. I met a fellow Bendy in the car park whose friend had been taking part and she was so happy to see someone doing it for EDS, really made my day! Yes I wish I'd trained harder and prepared more but am delighted with how well we made it through.

 

So that is it the challenge is done.......

 

 

What's next?

 

There is still time to sponsor me if you would like, please visit https://www.justgiving.com/bendyspartan/

 



Cheating!

Saturday was a cheat day. We could eat whatever we fancied either for a meal or for the whole day. I was apprehensive, I've been enjoying this healthy eating lark and not struggled anywhere near as much as I thought I would. even under extreme temptation my resolve has remained strong. but what if I started then couldn't stop??

I went for the cheat meal and a treat approach, so stuck with the plan all day. I struggled to think what I wanted, I had no major cravings so went the tried and tested bread, cheese and chocolate!
Tuna and cheese melt baguette, it was nice enough and I do love bread (and cheese for that matter) and yes I enjoyed it. However, it left me feeling bloated and overly full (even though I ate the same amount of calories as I have been eating). I stood for quite sometime at the chocolate counter deciding what to have, nothing really grabbed my fancy, but its chocolate it's all nice, right?

Went for a twirl and (I can't believe I am typing this) had one finger and to be honest that was plenty, it was a bit too sweet and sickly! Obviously I struggled through and ate the other finger - it was a cheat day after all, but I left myself feeling sick!

So it would seem that by cutting out the bad stuff, only a tiny bit will be sufficient to satisfy cravings.

Saturday night was also the first night in the past couple of weeks when I have been kept awake with EDS aches and pains. Now it may well be coincidence but I have noticed an improvement in the general pain levels while I have been on the 'detox'. Hmmmm this healthy eating might just be worth it.

Only 6 days left of the plan, then it is the Spartan Sprint (gulp) and then what? Watch this space.....

Giving up!

No don't panic I am still doing the Spartan - even after seeing the photos from the London one this weekend which have filled me with absolute terror. Take a look http://www.muddyrace.co.uk/race-reviews/10-amazing-things-you-achieved-at-spartan-race-london/ those monkey bars.............

But no I am not giving that up. However I am giving up sugar (not fruit though), wheat and dairy. You are also not allowed caffeine or alcohol but that's grand for me.

21 days from the 31st of August it is all about the good stuff and not being allowed any of the good stuff. So no toast, no pasta, no chocolate, no cheese!!!!! All of my default I am feeling rubbish, give me the stodge kind of foods.

I am hoping it will mean shedding a few pounds, which has to make those monkey bars easier right? But also to reset my go to foods. I'm not normally one for cutting out complete food groups, however, I have been spending much to much time having a slice of toast, a bit or cheese, a bar of chocolate and I need to get back to these being occasional rather than regular.

I am also interested to see if it makes any difference to my hypermobility. I know too much sugar can result in a flare up for me. I wonder if 'clean' eating will help at all? Is it wrong that there is a part of me that hopes not, I don't want to give up all this stuff completely, forever!!!

It is going to be tough, in fact I reckon this deserves sponsorship almost as much as doing the Spartan :-)

Fair weather blogging!

It would appear I am a fair weather blogger! I have been struggling a lot and if I am honest I am not good at admitting it. So the fact that I am here typing shows I am feeling better. I think when you have a condition that leaves you in pain pretty much all of the time you become really good at putting on a front and looking to the outside world that all is fine. It is hard to let that guard drop because if it does you might just not get back to functioning like a normal human again.

But actually this time it was not so much a really bad flare up, although I have been knackered and things have been popping it wasn't really any worse than normal. It was more of a mental thing.

When I started this the Spartan Sprint was very much the end game. That was what I was working towards, while trying to raise a bit of awareness (and money please feel free to donate https://www.justgiving.com/bendyspartan/) about EDS. Within my circle of friends I have done that, people who have people I their family have been in touch and it has been great to feel like I have aided understanding a little bit.

So the Spartan, well I think that has been part of the problem. With less than a month to go I am not as fit as I wanted to be, although my expectations were perhaps a little unrealistic. I was genuinely concerned about making it round, both because of fitness and the fear of something dislocating. In my head I think I had convinced myself that if I got fit enough EDS would magically heal itself. Hmmmmm that isn't going to happen, you numpty!

So yes I have been struggling, I have still been plodding along and training, maybe not as much as I could have but I have been trying.

Yesterday I went to bootcamp. Now I would like to point out that this isn't a military style shout at you till you cry kind of bootcamp. It is a very lovely group of folk that just want you to do your best. I went. It was a struggle to get there but I went. First off it was blooming freezing, I had a subluxation of the shoulder after dislocating it on Saturday with a heap of muscle pain around it, my back is not 100% aligned and is refusing to go back in and I have the usual dislocating toes. I thought about not going. But I went. I told myself I would modify and I wouldn't do any shoulder stuff. But I was there and I thought well I just try and do as much as I could. I did it, I gave 100% and I completed everything. It might not have looked like it to anyone else but it was a huge achievement for me.

Not only did it get me through bootcamp but it has given me the confidence to believe I can get round the Spartan. I had visions of galloping round the course, leaping over obstacles, gracefully rising to the top of the rope climb. Yeah, there is going to be nothing graceful about me hauling my bahooki round, over and under to get to the finish! But I will get to the finish, dislocations, subluxations it doesn't matter I can push on through and I can do it.

And do you know what the Spartan isn't the end, I have a feeling it is just the beginning!

Holding back

OK so last week was a rough week as you know. But, as always, it passed. Today I went for a run with the goal of beating my personal best. Now to be honest even calling it a personal best makes me chuckle a little because that sounds suspiciously what runners and crazy fit people aim for.

Anyway I did exactly the same run as I did last Monday with the objective of doing it a bit quicker. Before I share my times I would like to reiterate that I am not a runner, the route (5k) is a tough one, full of mud, tree roots, holes made by horse hoofs (perfect for a foot to drop into!), a bloody big hill and quite a few smaller ones. Monday last week I did it in 52.31 today I did it in 49.16. Yes still pitifully slow, pretty sure it wouldn't have taken much longer to walk it,  but still quicker than last week.

However, I could have done it quicker. Did I give it 100%? No I didn't, in fact if I was totally honest I would say I gave it about 80%. There is a big part of me that holds me back when I am running. And it is not my bahooki. It is fear. Yep there I have said it I hold back because I am scared I am going to hurt myself. Now this is ridiculous, I've entered a Spartan for goodness sake, that's just asking to be injured. Thing is I don't mind getting injured in the race, in fact I'm expecting it.

It is also ridiculous because ask me to do cartwheels, summersault on a trampoline, run down a beach with Chloe on my back, play 'dancing on ice' and throw same child around I'll  do it. I'll give 100% effort. I'll not worry about getting injured.

But running, I have the fear. Now I think it is because when I was first diagnosed with hypermobility I was told do not run. Running is not a good idea, you will injure yourself. I think I may have mentioned at the time this was fine with me. But I think it has stuck with me, in the back of my mind I don't want to push myself because it is going to hurt me. I need to get over this.

Now I am a naturally competitive person. Today I set myself the goal to be quicker and I will try using that every time, but will it be enough? I am tempted to join a parkrun but there is also a part of me that doesn't want to be that person hobbling in dead last.

Guess I need to Spartan up!!

Mojo lost......and found!

It has been a little while, I've not blogged because well I've not had much to blog about if I am honest. I had a good two, maybe three weeks of not much training at all. I was ill, it was the school holidays, work was busy, I had stuff to do, like you know going shopping, watching TV all the really important stuff that we do when we are not doing what we should be doing!

With the realisation that I have less than five months to the Spartan and I am still nowhere near ready, I thought I'd best get back to it. Me and the mister had a night out in Glasgow on Saturday and I got up to go to the hotel gym at 8am on Sunday morning - I know check me out! I spend a lot of the day thinking how easy training would be if I could just get up and go downstairs to the gym, then it dawned on me. I can. Well OK not to a nice air-conditioned fancy pants gym. But in my garden I have a bike, I have a skipping rope, I have a trampoline, I have roller skates, I have hula hoops, inside there are more workout DVDs than I can to mention and at the front door (which leads to a whole heap of running options) there are my trainers. I can go downstairs and go straight to the gym, its just a different kind of gym. Unfortunately I doubt I will return to a delicious breakfast buffet but a girl can't get everything.

So Monday I went for a run, Tuesday I did a DIY circuit mash up in the garden then I went for a run. This was a tough run. First off it was hot - don't worry the situation was quickly rectified and we are back to cold and rain. More of a pain was my lower back and right hip being really unstable for the majority of the run. Meaning my muscles, especially my core had to work a whole lot harder to keep everything in place, it was hard going, I am not going to lie I struggled, I really struggled. As I neared home my left hip, obviously not happy with the amount of attention the right one was getting, decided to protest by popping out, thankfully after a little attention and reassurance it was just as important it popped back in - but I was sore for the rest of the day.

Not one to be deterred Wednesday I went for a run, five minutes in and my toe dislocated and would go back in through wiggling alone. As I sat on the pavement putting it back in, I question what I was doing, is it really worth it? Maybe I should just not bother. But I gave myself a good Man The F**k Up talking too, remembered all the people who are a lot worse off than me, all the people who inspire me (this lovely lady for a start http://blog.spartanrace.com/overcoming-obstacles-amanda-sullivan/) and I popped my toe back in, put my trainers back on and did it. I was faster, I pushed myself further, I felt good, I think I can do this! Don't get me wrong, I hurt, I was falling asleep by 8pm, I am still slow but I can and will do it.

May is EDS awareness month - I hope this blog is telling a few more people about EDS and giving a small insight to what it is like (remember I am pretty lucky with my symptoms) take a look for some more info https://www.ehlers-danlos.org/get-involved/may-awareness-month-2014

Sitting down, standing still, moving forward!

So sometimes it hurts to move but more often it hurts more not to move! Last week I had a two days of sitting in one position for long periods of time (work conference) then a day of standing still (PTA fundraiser) and oh my did it take its toll. I am a fidget, I can't help it, it is all part and parcel of HEDS. Sitting still kills me! I am aware that for other people this is extreemly annoying and do try to minimise it, especially in conference type situations. However, by the end of the three days I was in agony. It hurt to move, it hurt to sit still. So rather than run as normal while Chloe was at swimming I went for the rest option and planned to keep it that way. So thank goodness for my mini personal trainer. We made it until about 14.00 untill she could be contained no longer (she had already been swimming that morning) so a bike ride it was. Except my finders were not working and my bike needed a new saddle. Not one to be easily deterred, little miss declared I could run, and she promised not to go too fast! So an hour later, she kept true to her word and I walked most of it, with the occassional run thrown in I felt......so much better. If it hadn't been for her then I would have lazed around and probably still felt rubbish on the Sunday. So moving is the way forward.

I did however get up at 6.30am, when I was staying in a hotel without the sleep terrorist, to go for a run! I feel like I am dedicated :-)

Got really quite excited as my EDS running vest arrived - you will definately be able to spot me in a crowd! Just need to get it back from the little lady now.

 

But for now I'll just keep on moving forward!

Frustrations and fears

Last week I was away with work and missed running. Not just didn't manage to run but actually missed doing it! I may have become one of those people who gets tetchy when they don't exercise......

Mostly I am plodding along and pleased with how things are going but on Sunday my shoulder kept popping out. It blooming hurt and it made me feel sick, the rubbish feeling is nearly done over 48 hours later. I am not sure if it is because I had not done much the week before, because I did a bit of strength stuff the day before or just because. I suspect it is just because.

Now I know that this is going to happen, it is part and parcel of HEDS. It doesn't make it any less frustrating. The pain is, well, a pain as is the general feeling rubbish which goes with it but just now a couple of days being completely out of action is making it worse. I am really enjoying training and not being able to do it is getting me down a bit. I'll be back running tomorrow though :-)

Luckily I had Chloe to keep me on the straight and narrow food wise so didn't just survive on toast!

It has also reminded me of the fear of something dislocating or just having a general flare up on the day of the race or just before. Logically I know there is no point in worrying, if it happens I'll just need to deal with it. I hope that training will make me stronger and flare ups happen less, but this may be wishful thinking......

Run for it!

I don't like running, I've never liked running. I fully accepted it when I was told not to run because of HEDS, and on the odd occasion I've tried running, I've not really enjoyed it, it hurt and well it's just a bit boring.

However, the whole Spartan thing requires me to run. This is the bit that worries me the most. Climbing ropes, scaling walls, crawling under barbed wire and running through fire have not stressed me out as much as the running part of it.

Turns out I love running! If it's along muddy paths, jumping over stuff, sliding down hills and risking losing your trainers. Today I ran just over 4k in under 35 minutes. I probably could have run a little bit more and walked a little bit less but I pushed myself to run for longer times and I ran up all the hills so I am happy.

My trainers are not fairing so well!

I think that running on the sodden ground, it is really muddy, takes away a lot of the impact and that's why I'm finding it more enjoyable. I also know I'm concentrating on my stability and core to ensure I don't fall so I'm not hyper extending. Good job it's not going to dry up any time soon!

My aim is to build up to 5k in 40 mins then try and get the time down to 30 mins. I never thought I'd be confident in saying that.

I'm also feeling the benefit of just eating what I have planned, I'm making healthier choices, not over eating and not feeling bloated and sluggish. I'm not weighing or measuring until the end of March so I don't get disheartened if there isn't much progress. Although to be honest, I feel so much better I don't really care if I've not lost much. For me this is all about being healthy.

It's been a good week!

The fog

It is not the fog outside that is hampering my progress, although going out in the freezing fog is not that appealing! But the brain fog. One of the issues with Hypermobile EDS is tiredness. Which sounds a bit pathetic doesn't it? I mean everyone gets tired. I have a 5 year old sleep terrorist so I am permanently at some level of tiredness but when EDS tiredness hits it is on a different level.

This week it hit, I can only describe as being a bit like when you have flu, you  know when everything aches, and you are just so exhausted you could happily cry. Even the thought of actually walking upstairs to go to bed is a bit much of an effort and you think twice about having a drink of water because lifting the glass just seems like an impossible task. So once C has been in bed this week I have barely moved off the sofa, tea has been drunk and not much else has been achieved.

I have stuck to my 30 minutes a day but this has mostly been walking and I really need to up my game. Food wise has not been too bad have resisted the extremely strong urge to survive off toast and toast alone.

On Monday I did venture off the sofa and have a clear out of clothes - I have a vac pack of stuff that is a wee bit too tight, it will be opened at the end of April and my word it had better fit!

So the moral of the story is I need to man up, I genuinely think if I can push myself to be more active through the day I will be less tired at night, if I can strengthen my muscles it will not be as much of an effort to hold everything in place. That's the plan anyway - I'll keep you updated!

Please give me a kick and make sure I move my bahooki!

And so it begins

Well I am now signed up to do the Spartan Sprint! Although having a slight issue getting the team set up but am sure we'll get there.

It is not until September 21st so I have plenty of time but I have a lot to do. The challenges are actually not phasing me too much - yes they are going to be tough. However, the thought of running 5k (I know it is really not far) makes me want to cry a little.

So I am starting gradually, I will do at least 30 minutes of exercise a day. This may be anything from Insanity to a brisk walk, dancing with C (which is more of a workout than you would think, there are a lot of lifts involved) to, gulp, going for a run. But I will do it. Everyday.

Everyone struggles to get motivated to exercise, there is always something better to do, like I don't know, waiting for facebook to update. however, it is extra tough when you are already hurting, the sofa seems like a far better option. After all when you ache all over why would you want to add to it? But, really what is the alternative? Yes sitting on the sofa is and immediate relief but in the long run being fitter and stronger can only be beneficial. So, for now I will be doing my 30 mins a day, by March when I am in the habit and it is, hopefully, second nature, I will start regularly running. yes, me running. Remind me again why I am doing this?

There is no point in getting into the regular exercise habit if I do not eat right. Now overall my diet is not that bad. I don't drink alcohol, mostly drink water, cook most of our meals from scratch, watch sugar and fat intake. I'll not lie sometimes this just means watching chocolate go from packet into mouth :-)

One of the reasons I am doing this crazy race is to show C that you can do anything you set your mind to and to be a positive role model to her. It occurred to me the other day that we do a lot of moaning about advertising aimed at kids and the amount of junk that is sold solely with kids in mind. While I agree there is way too much rubbish out there marketed at kids, actually we are more influential than we know. C helps us decide what to have for dinner when we plan meals and when it is just me & her she gets to pick dinner. Her choice for the past few weeks (except tonight when she went fro haggis) has been salmon, boiled egg, veg and a wee dollop of mayo. This came about because I had it one night when she'd already eaten. As I have been thinking about it if I eat chocolate or MrF has a packet of crisps she will ask for them, but if just asked what she wants she will go for fruit 9 times out of 10.

So as much as I owe it to myself to eat a healthy, balanced (I'm all for the occasional treat) diet, I owe it to my daughter to show her that I make healthy choices.

Linking up with the lovely Autismmumma and #wobbleswednesday http://www.autismmumma.com/2014/01/show-me-the-veggies-wobbleswednesday/

Flexibility over determination

I should know all about flexibility right? I mean after all that is the one big advantage to being hypermobile, flexibility is my thing. However, I have realised I need to apply this flexibility to my training not just to being able to put my leg behind my head!

Today was my day to really get back on to the training, I started the workout DVD Insanity at the start of January and did a week of it, I would go so far as to say I really enjoyed it. But then I had a flair up and was out of action for two weeks.

If I'm going to be a Spartan I need to train, and I need to train pretty hard but there is a fine balance because overdoing it will just mean weeks, potentially months, off training.

So today when I started Insanity and had popped my ankle and my hip (went straight back in so no drama) before the warm up had finished, I had a decision to make. Carry on and run the risk of injury, stop and have a wee seat on the sofa or do an alternative, lower impact workout.

It took a fair bit of effort not to be engulfed in the sofa's comfort but I went for the lower impact workout. Step in Davina McCall! The thing I love best about her workouts is the amount of time devoted to stretching. I find it makes a huge difference to being able to walk the next day :-)

The moral of the story is while I would love to have a really structured workout plan to get me where I am going, the reality is that just isn't going to work. I would need to miss a session and then get demotivated. I will be flexible and do what I can when I can, I have the luxury of time so can build up slowly. Doing the best workout for me is more important than doing the hardest workout for me.

Me

So where to start, I am a pretty normal 35 year old working Mum. I'm a little pudgier and a little squishier than I'd like. I don't have enough hours in the day or cash in bank but on the whole I'm fairly happy with my lot.

I also consider myself to be very lucky, I have a lovely husband (don't tell him I said that though) and a gorgeous daughter (C) who means the world to me.

I am also not in a wheelchair. This may seem like a strange thing to say, but at 17 I was told there was a good chance I would be in a wheelchair by the time I was 30. So I am very grateful that I can still run around after C. I was also very lucky to be diagnosed with EDS Hybermobility fairly quickly, after a couple of years of my GP dismissing my chronic pain as growing pains. I was also very lucky to be referred straight away to a great physio who encouraged me to build my strength and use exercise to manage my condition as best as I can. I am also very lucky that I do not have it as bad as a lot of people and have a lot of good days that make me forget the bad days.

So I hear you all ask, what on earth am I talking about?

Hypermobile Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome, sounds fancy huh? There is a bit of variation in terms of symptoms and severity between people but this is the general gist:

* Hypermobility with the joints having a wider range of movement than usual.
* Loose, unstable joints that can lead to dislocations and subluxations.
* Joint pain and fatigue.
* Easy bruising.
* Gastrointestinal dysfunction.
* POTS (postural orthostatic tachycardia syndrome) causing fast heart rate, dizziness and fainting.
* Mitral valve prolapse, a heart valve abnormality which is usually only mild in HEDS.
* Uterine, rectal or bladder prolapse.
* Urinary dysfunction.
* Varicose veins.

Please visit http://www.ehlers-danlos.org/ for more information (I have pinched this from there, I'm sure they will not mind!)

I am pretty sure C has it as well, although she has not been officially diagnosed as yet. She is a big part of why I am doing this. Yeah it sucks, especially the tiredness (oh and the pain!) but it is also pretty cool to still be able to do the splits at 35 right? I want her to think she can do anything, not to be afraid, to be strong and healthy. In the world that we live in which is so obsessed about being skinny to know that skinny isn't important. That being happy, healthy, fit, kind, energetic and brave is what is important.

So here I am about to sign up to the spartan sprint (a 5k obstacle course), I hope to raise some awareness, hopefully raise some money but most of all I want to show myself I can do it. It will be a slow process getting fit and strong enough, I hope you will stick with me through the next 8 months - I am going to be totally honest about it, but I will try very hard not to moan when I can't train because my knee has popped out!

Thanks for reading and remember just because someone doesn't look ill doesn't mean they are not in pain.